So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
