There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize