fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
