Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Randomize
