I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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