new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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