I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
