I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize