if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
