win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
