another moral hangover. fuck.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
