Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
