Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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