Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
you never un-have a 4some
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
