At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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