we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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