Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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