i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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