no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
