just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
