Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Randomize
