what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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