Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
