Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
