woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
