thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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