The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
