Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
