Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
