you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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