I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize