Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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