Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize