summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize