Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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