I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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