Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
