they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
she pinky promised me she was 18
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
