I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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