I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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