WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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