You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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