She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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