i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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