what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
