I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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