Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
