Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize