I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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