He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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