I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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