I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
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