i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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