i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
