i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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