and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
