I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Randomize
