i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
