somebody snuck up and got me drunk
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
