if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize