I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
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